MELVIN’S ARM

CHAPTER SEVEN

‘So you already know each other?’ exclaimed an incredulous Laura.

‘Well, yes,’ Richie said sheepishly as he crawled from under the table. ‘Melvin’s my new friend, actually. We’ve err, already sort of met. I’ve been meaning to tell you about him, sis’, but I just haven’t had the chance. We met for the first time yesterday, didn’t we Melvin?’

Melvin looked down at his magnificent body and began to stroke his huge biceps. He grinned proudly and said, ‘Yes, that’s right, Richie made me. Not bad, am I?’

Laura gave Richie a puzzled look. 

‘What does he mean, you made him? she said.

‘Just normal, sis,’’ said Richie. ‘There was nothing to it. Same as anyone else makes a new friend, I suppose. I  was standing at our garden gate and Melvin was walking down the street and I looked at him and he looked at me and we smiled at each other and said, “Hi!” and I said. “Do you want to be my friend?” and he said, “Alright then!” and now he’s my friend and I’m his friend and that’s that. That is how you make friends isn’t it, Laura?’

‘Well, yes, I suppose so,’ said Laura.

‘Course it is, Dad,’ said Melvin.

‘But why does he call you, Dad?’ said Laura.

‘Oh, that’s nothing. Just a bit of fun really,’ laughed Richie. ‘You know cool hep talk, man. Me and Melvin are cool dudes, aren’t we, Melvin? So we call each other things like Dad and man, Don’t we Melvin, my main man!’

‘Yo, sure do!’ said Melvin, as Richie gave him a couple of crafty kicks under the table.

‘Oh, I get you now,’ said Laura, looking relieved. She pointed a knowing finger at Melvin and said, ‘I can see you’re extra hip!’

Melvin looked down at his waist in alarm and said, ‘Where?’

‘She means you’re a real cool dude, Melvin,’ Richie said quickly. ‘There’s nothing to worry about. You’ve just got two hips, like everybody else!’

Laura was confused again so she turned to Kelly and said, ‘Well, I think this is really nice, don’t you Kelly? Because as well as being Richie’s friend, Melvin is my friend now. Aren’t you, Melvin?’

Laura gave Melvin’s arm a little squeeze

‘Yes, daddio!’ said Melvin.

Laura smiled and said, ‘You’re my special friend, Melvin. You’re my boy friend and we’re going to Candy’s party aren’t we?’

‘Yo, cool dude, babe,’ said Melvin. Then he looked at Richie and said, ‘Are you coming too? They’ve got swimming and snogging …. whatever they are?’

Richie looked glum and shook his head and said, ‘I can’t, I’m not allowed.’

‘Why not?’ said Melvin. ‘I thought you were my friend and you said that friends do things together.’

‘I’d rather not say,’ said Richie.

‘I know why he’s not going,’ said Kelly, grinning maliciously. ‘It’s because he’s been banned from Purgloss Dungeons for life. And do you know why? It’s because he fed four buckets of Get Up And Go To The Toilet breakfast cereal to Dinky Purrgloss on the eve of the Elvis Falls Best Behaved Pony competition. That’s why Melvin. It’s true, isn’t it Richie? You little imp! We never know just what this little chap is going to get up to next, do we Laura?’